Literacy by autobiography

Kelly S., Paige W., Mariah L., Xianxing Y., Rong S., and Jiahui W.
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Xianxing Y.
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:57 am

Literacy by autobiography

Post by Xianxing Y. »

Literature  is always important in our daily life.As older,our literary is more ripe.We need use the literature everywhere or everytime.When we were young,we use the simple literature to explain ourselves.but when we grown,we also touched many things and learned something new.our literature is progres.Now I would like to tell you something about my literary story.
            As we all know,when we born we first saw is our parents,and our parents is my first teacher.About my first literary story is my parents and my parents is the Most important for my literary story.When I was young my parents taught me a lot of many things.Like the words,and the setens many things.My parents is my first teacher.They taught me how wrote the word and how to write sentences and a lot of grammar.So I think   my parents  is my literary teacher.When we born,we can do anything.My parents taught me one by one.They are very patient for me,If something I can not do well,my parents will teacher me.And about the manners my parents also tell me and do it for us to let us understand.So my parents is my first teacher about my literary story.
      I can do it some simple by myself,When I was in primary school I met my first teacher in general.The teacher taught me how to spill the word and met my first classmates in my life.I touch the true literary When I was in primary.When we at home although my parents told me many things,I touch literary is in my primary school,the teachers taught me how to content the word in sentences.In my memory,the Chinese teacher When I was in six grade.A long black hair,big eyes they are very beautiful,middle hight and   build.She has a very beautiful daughter like her.
I liked writing very much when I was in primary school and She taught me very patient,every time we have contests.My teacher will ask me to take part in.Itook part in a contest by the country.I remembered I wrote the passage more than three time.I was very angry about this passage.But when I finished the forth time my parents do not think my passage is not good,she said I wrote is not good and I should wrote another one passage.I was very angry about that but I also finished the passage.This time my teacher finally said good.My teacher take in the passage.After three weeks later my teacher told me I got the first grade.I was so suprise about that.My teacher also suprised.About that things I know my teacher was strict ed with me was good for me.So I very grateful her.When I was in primary school,I had  a little literary basis.
And my teacher is very important for me.
       When I was middle school,I was first time to touch the English.So I also touch the English literary.My English teacher is a kind  and friendly person.She has along black hair.And she is middle build.She always take care us like our parents.But in the class,she was stricted with us she want to we can do the best.After class,we just like friends we tall sonething in our daily life and in our school.In the English class I have learned somethings about my English and because my English teacher I love English very much.In her class,she taught me how spell the word truly and fluently,and some basis gammas of English.She always had many English homework When we in the weekend or holiday.In the middle school,I had a little English literary basis.And I also learned alot of my Chinese literary.In our Chinese class My Chinese teacher is a man and also very kind for us.He always free to us.When we in class he always asked us to do some writing.Or in our class he also asked us to do some  reading and wrote the After the feel when you finished the paragraph.We also wrote the passage once a week.So I improve my literary stills When I was in the middle school.And has a little basis of English literary skills.
           Hight school is a progress of important Chinese literary and English literary.In the hight school we had some  basis of Chinese literary and English literary.In hight school we also learned a lot of about my literary.Our Chinese and English teacher also taught us about literary.When we in hight school I got a habit about keep a dairy every day in English.I it is very useful for us to important improve my English literary.And I also like to listen to English music.It is a good ways to improve English.In hight school we also asked to read some famous book.Not only can we improve our expression,but also can help us learn sonething about the word or about the band.
          I am an English  major now,so I touch most of is English.When I am in college.We have many classes about English.The most lucky thing is we have the reading and writing lesson.This can let us more clear know about reading and writing.In our class our teacher asked us  to read a lot of famous book and find out what the word is good or perfect.Also asked us to copy  some word or some sentences are better than us.In the class,we also writing in the class,after you finished yoour writing,you should exchange your passage into you r patener.And you also should give your ideas about your patener passage.What something is good or what some is not perfect and so on.I think It is a good idea for our literary.We can learned a lot about that we also can improve our skills about how to writing perfect.
And now our teacher also asked us copied a good paragraph that you think good every day and then you also should created aparagraph about that you have read the paragraph.It is a very good idea for us to improve our writing.
       About the future,maybe I also love the writing and sonething about English Created.I perfect to have a higher level about my literary Whenever Chinese literary or English literary.And I also keep the ensuerment about the literary.
Paige W.
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:07 am

Re: Literacy by autobiography

Post by Paige W. »

Hi Xianxing,
Here are all my thoughts after reading your essay! If you have any questions, please let me know!

Overall Response
Your essay took a unique approach to discussing your literary experience by tying in all the people who helped you. I really liked that I could picture your teachers and got a grasp of what you learned in the classroom. I think the article was a moderately strong piece. The overall grammar mistakes are what made it weaker since the reader had to piece together what was being said. I think with a revision of the piece it could be very strong!

Focus
The focus of your essay was to explain how your literacy progressed through the school year and the impact your teachers had on making that progress possible. I do believe all sections fit the focus. Each section showed a new teacher who helped you in a different manner. The sections also support the focus because they discuss the literary tasks that were being taught.

Development for Readers
There were a few points in your essay that got me thinking. I was not sure if your schooling was structured the same as mine in the United States. For example, high school in the United States includes grades 9-12, so I wasn’t sure if that was the same for you. I think clarifying this aspect would help give the audience a better understanding of exactly where you were in your schooling. It was also interesting that you used the word touch in a way that I have not encountered before. I was wondering what you meant in your sentence, “So I also touch English literacy”. Overall, I think you did a good job of considering the audience.

Organization and Coherence
I think your chronological ordering was very effective. I liked how it started out with you as a young child and influenced by your parents to present day college and what you hope the future holds. I think every section fits but the coherence of them could be strengthened. There is redundancy in the first primary section so if you went back and removed that then tied it into that section of primary schooling to create one paragraph that would help to make it stronger. I also think there should be more added to the last paragraph since it ends somewhat abruptly. I suggest adding how you hope your literacy will grow and what areas you hope to strengthen.

Language/Grammar/Conventions
I think the weakest part of your essay was the grammatical conventions. The most common errors that stuck out was the fragments, lack of tense consistency, lack of subject verb agreement, spelling, and spacing. There are fragments scattered throughout the piece such as, “Like the words,and the sentens many things.” Fragments make it hard to understand what is being said. The tenses in the essay do no always stay consistent usually jumping from present and past forms. The lack of pronoun agreement is also a recurring error. An example would be, “My parents is my first teacher”. In this sentence parents are plural, and the verb is singular. There are also minor spelling errors throughout such as spell being spelt as spill. Lastly, there should always be a space after any grammatical punctuation such as a period or comma. The essay did not have this space, so things seemed to be crammed and it was at times harder to read.

Main Emphasis for Revision
Moving forward I think the most important changes you could make to your essay would be to look at the grammatical errors. I recommend looking at each sentence and making sure the sentence alone makes sense and are free of errors. Overall, I really enjoyed your piece and I think it has a lot of potential to be a really strong writing!
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